Elementary Questions from an Elementary Teacher

I've mentioned before that I am a very slow reader.  So, I try my hardest to choose books judiciously- especially spiritual books.  My latest subject has been suffering.  I read Lewis' A Problem of Pain and Kreeft's  Making Sense Out of Suffering.  Not that I get suffering, but I understand it as well as I'm going to at this point in my journey. 

My next big question is concerning prayer and how it works.  I know nothing except that there are different types of prayer: intercessory, contemplative and meditative.  I have what I think is a good prayer life.  I can speak about how prayer has changed me.  It has changed my desires so they are more in line with God's.  It's helped me accept His will.  It has brought me closer to God, into a more personal relationship with Jesus and it has helped me identify and respond to the workings of the Holy Spirit.  The prayer that gave me these graces is probably meditative and contemplative.  When I do ask for something, it's always with the caveat, "If it is your will"  and "give me the strength to bear this cross if it is not your will." 

But, how does intercessory prayer work?  If I'm asking for something like a baby or healing, how does God decide who to give a baby to and who to heal?  And how is that related to His will?  Does he somehow change His will to answer our prayers?  Or does he answer our prayers based on what is His will all along?

Instinctually, I'm thinking that I can ask and if it's good for me, He will answer the prayer in the affirmative.  If it's not good for me, He will help me bear the cross of Him saying No.  He also may use the cross to bring others to Him.  For example, by not having another child, I've been able to give more to my students, friends and extended family members when they need help. 

Am I totally off base? 

What else do you have to add? 

Do you have any book recommendations to help me along this part of my journey? 

You ladies are so wise and wonderful, I'd love suggestions. 

These questions have been brewing for a long time, but in light of our little blogosphere's answered prayers (Matching Moonheads, Perfect Power in Weakness, Hebrews, A Martha Trying to be a Mary) during prayer buddies, I thought I'd ask for your take on all this.

Praise God for His answered prayers and for the new life he has given to the world!

Division of labor

One of the cool outcomes of our trip to Yellowstone was a daily decade of the rosary as a family.  AJ and I try to say a decade a day together- always initiated by me.  In the tent one night AJ asked to do a decade.  I almost fainted.  Then the next night Guitar Man said, "Let's do a decade."  They both wanted to continue doing it as a family once we got home.  Never in a million years would I ever imagine this.  As I started to lead the prayers tonight, I asked Guitar Man if he wanted to lead.  He said, "No, you are responsible for keeping our family holy and I'm responsible for keeping our family solvent."  HA!

Our Mother Mary never ceases to amaze me.  The Rosary really does produce miracles.  Even if it's said a decade at a time.

How To

How do you call the one person in your life besides your husband that has had the most impact on your adult life, the person who brought you back to the church in one single sentence (see 'boss' in side bar), the person who through that one sentence resulted in the life of your son- how do you call them and tell them you you are so very sorry the the love of their life has lung and brain cancer? 

You screw up you face, take a deep breath, ask the Holy Spirit for guidance, and dial.  You talk, you sympathize, you try to lift up, you realize that person, as usual, is lifting you up.  Then you hang up and cry life a crazy fool into your pillow.  That's how. 

St. Peregrine, Pray for KF and MH.

7 Quick Takes- Yellowstone Edition

It's good to be back! I'm constantly writing blog posts in my head: guess it's time to actually blog.  Ha Ha!  This is totally off the cuff, written quickly from the heart.  Please excuse any errors or weirdness. 

-1-

We went to Yellowstone two weeks ago and camped out for three nights.  To some of you, this may seem like no big deal.  For these suburbanites who only took vacations in cities and hotels, it was a big deal.  Actually, Guitar Man never took vacations so I basically have to drag him on our trips.  I'm very patient the week before we go when he's freaking out about missing work and paying the bills early and packing and finding someone to take the mail.  I'm patient because I know when we get in the car after about an hour, he'll look over at me with a sparkle in his eye, a smirk on his face and say, "and you didn't want to go on vacation." 

-2-

We were nervous about camping, especially since we've NEVER CAMPED BEFORE.  And, we were camping in bear country 1,300 miles from home.  I should also add that we are not handy.  For example, we are both afraid to change the fluorescent light bulbs in our laundry room.  But, with advice from many friends (thanks Catholic Mutt!), everything was successful- even the food.  We ate out on the road- mostly Subway and salads from McDonalds.  While we were in Yellowstone, we ate exclusively from the cooler.  If I may say so myself, we ate very well.  We had sloppy joes, mostaccioli, quesadillas, zucchini brownies, string cheese, salad with lots of cut up veggies, simple salad dressing of olive oil, rice vinegar, salt and pepper. 



Lots of orange juice too!



-3-

Not only was our trip successful, it was inspirational.  I think it was even a spiritual experience.  We were in awe most of the time.  I thought AJ might be bored but, he loved searching for the wildlife and staring at the geothermal wonders.  I got a little choked up when we were approaching the exit.  When I looked over at Guitar Man, he had tears in his eyes.  Our trip seems like a dream now.

Except.....

-4-

I was in pain most of the time.  I forgot to mention on the medical quick takes that I have a cervical infection.  It's Strep B.  I've just had very mild pain in the past around my period.  Not even pain really, just cramping.  I was on a course of antibiotics and that cramping and brown bleeding cleared up.  Well, it somehow came back with a vengeance while at Yellowstone.   I'm now on another course of antibiotics (DH is too) and the pain has subsided.  Phew.

-5-

Then, my back went out.  I have a history of back trouble but, I've licked it over the last 10 years.  It comes on when I'm stressed.  I was stressed about the trip then add 21 hours in the car and there is a recipe for disaster.  The key for me is to force myself to move.  Walking up to Old Faithful, DH asked, "On a scale from 1-10, what is your pain."  I said, "8."  That's bad for a woman who has a very high pain tolerance.  Because there is so much walking, it was a natural way to keep me going.  So, by the time we left Yellowstone, it was under control.  There was a point that I got down on my hands and knees and prayed to our mother Mary for relief, strength and the wisdom to deal with the issue.  She answered my prayers- thank you dear mother. 

-6-

Then there was the, how can I say it?  The sluggish digestive track.  After a few days of lots of orange juice and grapes, it was better.  There was a lot going on in my pelvic region and all my suffering was offered for my prayer buddy and all the gals still waiting. 



I prayed for my prayer buddy and all you gals while up on this lookout

-7-

It was not lost on me the irony that I was having a spiritual experience in the midst of physical pain.  I felt very, very close to God on our trip.  It is not often that I have a sense that I belong.  When I go places and even when I'm in my home town, there are times when I feel out of place.  It's hard to explain.  It doesn't bother me.  I chalk it up to being made for a different world.  But, at Yellowstone, I felt as though I belonged there- like I was at home.  Not my physical home.  But,  my heart was home. 

See Jen at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes

7 Quick Takes- Medical Edition

I finally had followups with Dr. LaSalle and the Napro doctor.  I haven't started anything yet, just trying to digest the information. 

-1-

Vitamins and Minerals

I'm low in all the Bs (except 6 because I was taking a supplement), magnesium, iron and zinc.  Dr. LaSalle wants me to take a high quality supplements and a probiotic. 

-2-

Progesterone

Low progesterone throughout post peak.  Dr. LaSalle thought it was fine and Napro said it was "less than optimal."  Suppositories here we come!

-3-

Thyroid

Again, Dr. LaSalle said it was fine and Napro doc wants me to take temps for 10 days out of cycle (Days 5-9 and then Peak +5- Peak +9).  If the temps are below 98.2, they will give me T3 since I have too much RT3.  I've already taken temps for 5 days and not one has been above 97.5.  Hmm.  No wonder why I'm cold all the time. 

-4-

Adrenals

Looking good!!

-5-

Food Allergies

Lots of very mild allergies so Dr. LaSalle recommended a rotation diet where you only eat a food every four days.  I have to wrap my head around this one after all the changes I've made with my diet.  I tend to eat the same thing everyday until it's gone.  I'll make a pot of soup and eat it everyday for lunch.  The big difference will be stocking up on a variety of foods. 

-6-

Sleep

Napro doc wants a sleep study done.  She said that all the hormone supplements in the world won't help if this is a sleep issue.  I made an appointment to meet with a doctor in town who supervises them and then inadvertently missed it yesterday.  Got caught in traffic.  We are on vacation next week so my new appointment is the week after.  Guess the sleep study won't be done before school starts.  Oh Well. 

-7-

Weight

I've lost about 10 pounds now.  Several weeks ago, I gained a few and I'm losing 1/2 pound a week so it's took me a month to get back to where I was.  It's been a little frustrating, but I think I found my groove.  The five vegetables a day are key.  Adding fat like butter or bacon to the veggies help them go down.  I'm making veggies like my grandma used to!  I'm exercising in two 20 minutes sessions a day.  I find that I can get my tired self to do 20 minutes.  In the morning I do yoga or weights and a run once a week.  In the afternoon, I'll bike, swim or run.  Once a week, I'm doing an hour run.  Yesterday, I did a 20 minute run and ran  2 10 minute miles which is really fast for me.  It felt great.  I'm also trying to make each day consistent in weight watcher points.  They give you a certain number of points per day based on your weight (I have 29).  Then you have 49 extra point each week to use however you want.  I found I was using those 49 points in 2 or 3 days.  That meant I was eating a whole lot (aka binging) on those days.  Now, instead, I'm shooting for 35 points a day.  I haven't binged in several weeks now.  If I know that I want to splurge on a particular meal, I can eat low points for the other meals of the day and really go all out for one meal. 

Praise God for such great medical care!  Hope everyone has a great week.  You are in my prayers!

Heartland

Thanks for all the prayers on the last post- they were working over here.  My hubbie and I have had lots of chats about the topic and all is well.  He has a fondness for Peter and feels a kinship with him especially when Peter falters.  So, he's always comparing his own life with Peter's.  The thing about my DH is he has a lightheartedness in his faith that I lack.  He easily admits his faults and mistakes and is able to move on pretty quickly.  He accepts God's forgiveness and mercy much more openly than I do.  He has more to teach me than I do him.  Even though we are still working through the feelings, there is a sense of peace in the house.  Thanks for listening. 

Last Saturday, we went to The Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help in New Franken, Wisconsin.  It was a long drive, but completely worth it.  The grounds were delightful- well kept and humble.  It reminded me of my grandparents pristinely sweet garden.  The crypt marking the place where the apparitions occurred was so completely breathtaking that I  forgot to pray for all the intentions I planned.  There were so many candles burning that it was well over 100 degrees in the actual shrine.  There weren't even any candles left to light.  I was so overcome with awe that I was only able to pray for two intentions that were heavy on my heart.  I have two friends that are in crisis situations and needed immediate prayers.  As I fell asleep that night, I prayed to Mary for all of us infertile gals.  I'm hoping she understands.  We went with DH's cousin's family and had a lovely time.  I forgot my camera- these pics are from my DH's cousin's wife. 

Fatima garden

Stations of the cross

The Crucifixion

Sr. Adele's grave

Guitar Man and I

The statue in the Crypt- right above the apparition site.  Rows and rows of candles lined the entire room.

Today, DH, AJ and I drove the back roads to Peoria for my NaPro follow up.  That is another post in and of itself ;)  During both of our drives, we saw blue sky, fluffy bright white clouds, golden corn tops, bright green corn stalks and dark green soybean plants.  I love living in the breadbasket of the world where every piece of land is touched, cultivated and worked.  Whatever I feel about corn and soy and how they are used, this part of the world feeds the world.  It's done mostly by hard working families who love the land and are dedicated community members.   God Bless all the farmers and their families! 

Didn't see this one coming

For about six years, I prayed for my dear husband to find his vocation and that if it was God's will, that more children would be included.  There were difficult moments, but overall, God gave me the grace to embrace my life with one child even though I longed for more.  Then, two years ago, Guitar Man was open to having more children.  Now, here we are not able to conceive.  Last night, he opens up to me that maybe all those years of not wanting children were really him not putting faith in God.  And that if he had faith, maybe we would have more kids.  This is all in light of this week's Gospel.  He said that he was like Peter, he was following without wholehearted faith.  Oh Lordy.  You see, I've been under the impression all this time that we were following with faith.  My husband is a musician and writer.  He has produced beautiful work during the past 8 years.  Art that is touched by Christ.  As with any art, who knows if it will ever have a large audience.  But, even if only one person is influenced by it, it is worth it.  So, you see, I didn't think this was coming.  I responded HORRIBLY to him.  Horribly.  I told him I could not handle his regret.  That I handled his not wanting children so well- that he could not expect me to handle this well.  I had just returned from a Creighton followup.  Never fun being reminded of infertility in a fertile world.  Plus, it was CD2.  I say this not to excuse my behavior, but to explain it. 

I'm now realizing that I need to support him through this realization.  I have lots of experience with handling what-ifs and regret.  Thank God for Abigail's post on not being scandalized by the cross.  It has given me strength today.  The only good thing I said last night is that at least he was always honest.  He was honest all those years about children.  He's being honest now.  I just have to be open and forgiving.  St. Joseph, pray for us.