Prudent Hope- Napro appointment

Had an hour long phone appointment with my Napro doctor this past Wednesday.  I'm still trying to process everything.

Current Symptoms:

• with each cycle, I seem to have more pain associated with my period (at first I thought it was cervical and now it's farther up)
• the pain isn't there the month after I've been on antibiotics (I've been on 2 rounds) but, returns the following month
• very, very tender breasts before period
• just this past cycle for the first time, I had intermittent brown bleeding before period
• just this past cycle for the first time, I had watery, pink discharge
• fatigue (improved after changed sleep habits but, still severe)
• poor mucus scores- improved greatly after three months of 500 mg slow release B6 but, now poor again after being off of the B6

Current medications and supplements:

• 300 mg of progesterone peak +3 through peak +12
• 600 mg of mucinex 2 times per day CD5 through peak +4
• multivitamin with copper and iron
• 30 mg of zinc daily
• 200 mg of Magnesium Glycinate daily
• 6,000 IU of Vitamin D3 daily
• 500 mg of Panthenic Acid daily
• Probiotic once a day
• 1000 mg of Omega 3 daily
• Advair inhaler
• Flonase nosespray

Dr. S's recommendations:

• 7.5 mg (not sure if it's mg- haven't received the prescription yet) of T3
• Go back on B6
• Antibiotic treatment for DH and I on days 1-10
• Anti inflammatory diet
• Doesn't think the progesterone is causing the the brown bleeding or watery, pink discharge
• these two things are new in my cycle and so is the progesterone
• I've had brown bleeding but usually not intermittent (one day of it, next day nothing)
• Future thoughts:
• pre-peak blood work
• discuss laproscopy and hysteroscopy 
• see if there's endo and get a scraping to identify type of possible infection

Thoughts and feelings: 

I was absolutely over the moon about the T3.  They are sending it from Mecca- Kubat's pharmacy.  I am more excited about this than I should be.  I am trying to temper my hope a bit regarding this being the 'it' drug for me. The anti-inflammatory diet hasn't sunk in yet- I've been very confused about diet lately and this just adds to the confusion.  I've just recently made huge headway with weight loss and am not ready to rock the boat just yet.  Maybe I'll tackle it in a few weeks when I get the T3 underway.  The possible surgery totally floored me.  I've always had very regular periods with no pain so this came as a huge surprise.  I love my doctor because she as doesn't like "to take a shotgun approach."  She was just letting me know what's going on in her mind.  Peoria has a brand new NaPro surgeon and my doctor discussed my case with her.  Even though I'm probably a candidate and I'm sure she is a great surgeon, I'm also aware that surgeons like to do surgery.  It's definitely on the back burner but, the thought gave me that shaky feeling.  I'm offering up the fear and anxiety for Jelly Belly.  I am so incredibly thankful for all the medical posts I've read over the last two and a half years on these blogs.  It gives me a frame of reference for what's going on and most importantly, it reminds me that I'm not alone.  God Bless all of you.  

 

Temperate Fortitude

The NaPro doctor wanted me to get a sleep study done.  Evidently, at the last NaPro conference, sleep was a big topic because it can be the root cause of hormone imbalance.   I thought it would be a complete waste of time.  After all, I'm exhausted all the time and I sleep like a rock.  Or, so I thought.  The sleep study found that I wake up many times during the night, but go right back to sleep.  Dr. M, a doctor in my hometown who ordered the sleep study, put me on Lunesta and had me fill out a sleep journal.  After a month, I thought the Lunesta was helping me sleep a bit, but I was still exhausted.  Then, I really looked at the sleep journal.  And even before I had my followup, it was glaringly obvious that I wasn't getting enough sleep.

When I met with Dr. M she agreed that I'm not getting enough sleep and wants me to go to Cognitive Behavior Therapy for sleep.  It's about four sessions long and it uncovers attitudes about sleep and how to bring them into line with what is healthy.  I'm about to start an anger management program with my catholic therapist so I'll do the sleep one in several months.  I've been wanting to start the anger management program for a few months and I think it's more urgently needed.  Honestly, I'm not angry a whole lot but, I'm finding that I have ZERO coping skills for the little that I am angry so it adds up to a problem.

In the meantime, the changes I've made regarding sleep are:
1)  Laying in bed from 9:30-10 p.m.  (even if I'm not done with work or chores)
2)  Lights out at 10:00 p.m. (even if I'm not sleepy)
3)  Alarm goes off at 6:00 a.m.
4)  2mg of Lunesta

This is just one more step on my 'letting go' journey.  It started 3 years ago when I had my adrenals tested and my doctor said they were the worst she's seen in 17 years.  My cortisol was sky high, but my DHEAs were totally adapted.  I felt like complete crap.  A different kind of crap than I feel now.  Then, it was a shaky, panicky, heart racing crap.  Now it's just a exhausted, how-am-I-going-to-get-through-the-day crap.  Three years ago, I was running around like with a chicken with my head chopped off.  I had tons of energy from being gluten-free and I had no idea how to handle it.  I was also coming off of a year of my mom having brain cancer.   I completely overworked myself at home and at school.   So, I started a year of rest where I completely rested one day of the week and I really rested for two summers.   I also made lots of changes to my attitude and habits regarding work.  Teaching is a job that requires very strong boundaries or it can suck the life out of you. Boundaries are not my strong suit so the learning curve has been steep.  But, little by little, my work has taken that proper place in my life. *

I've been reading Self- Knowledge and Self-Discipline by B.W. Maturin. In it, he says that the virtues have to be balanced otherwise one will overpower the others.  Fortitude has definitely been dominant in my life.  A lot of it has to do with the fact that I've been tired most of my life so I've had to cultivate fortitude.  However, it's made me even more tired than I was originally.  I forsake temperance and prudence for fortitude.   I thank the good Lord above for putting these doctors in place in my life to help me learn this lesson.  I also pray to God that I can make these changes in enough time to heal my 40 year old body so that I can carry another child. **

* and **-  these paragraphs have so many 'I's that it's hard for me to click publish.  But, instead of practicing fortitude and editing for the next half hour, I am going to be prudent and go to bed for my 9:30-10 p.m. laying session ;)  Please excuse!

7 Quick Takes- Saturday Lite Edition

I have several serious posts in my head, but can't muster the mental energy to write them down.  So, here are a few lite anecdotes from our recent life...

-1-

A few weeks ago, we had a clogged pipe and in trying to fix it, Guitar Man and I created a flood in our kitchen.    As we were calmly cleaning it up, he said, "thank goodness our screamy-screamy days are behind us."  St.  Joseph is surely looking out for us!  Here is our kitchen after 3 days without a sink.  I'm trusting you guys with this information.  

-2-

I had to get a new blender and say goodbye to my trusty, 30 year old Osterizer.  My grandma bought it for me at a garage sale about 10 years ago and it had a glass pitcher.  It just wasn't blending well anymore.  I will miss its 70s avocado green and orange that fit so well in our 2 year old kitchen.  What does that say about my color choices?  

-3-

 I triple checked the recipe when I roasted these chickens.  Yes, it called for this much butter and, yes, there was a direct correlation between the deliciousness of this chicken and amount of butter consumed.    You may be able to tell from the picture that I roasted the chickens upside down.  Oops.  Maybe that's why the breast wasn't dry at all! 

-4-

Cookie was blessed last weekend and the sweetest Blessing of the Animals.  

Cookie is on the left

-5-

I'm reading Breaking Night by Liz Murray.  Great book about growing up with drug addicted parents, the power of love and the importance of education.

-6-

I've really been struggling to keep up with commenting on everyone's blog and writing on my own.  Please know that I've been reading and praying though.  

-7-

There is only one Creighton Practitioner in our area and she is an intern.  I've been seeing her for about a year now.   In the confessional last weekend, I got a bit of a theology of the body lecture from my confessor and he asked, "Have you considered seeing T--- S----."  I said, with as much humility as I could muster, "Actually, I'm one of her clients."  I had many different feelings after walking out of the confessional concerning this, but now I just think it's funny.  And I thank the good Lord above for the grace of reconciliation in the face of a myriad of feelings.  

Have a great weekend everyone and Jen has lots more 7 Quick Takes!

Thankful

Not for blogger tonight, or last night or the night before.  I'm having a heck of a time commenting.  All in His Perfect Timing and Two Plus One Equal Three- I had long comments for each of you and poof!  Gone.  Disappeared.  I'm praying for both of you!  And that's not even the comments I tried to leave last night or the night before...You are all in my prayers!

I was sitting in my car waiting for Dr. LaSalle to call for our latest phone appointment.  I was tired, frazzled and nervous.  I'm at a stand still with what to do about adrenals and thyroid.  I'm confused and all wrapped up in what questions to ask and anticipating what she would say.  And, I'm so very tired of feeling like crap all the time.

As I was waiting, the Early Childhood Special Education teachers were loading up the kids on the buses to go home.  The teachers, assistants, bus drivers and bus assistants were so loving and careful while handling their precious cargo.  I couldn't help but think this is one place where the rubber meets the road in the pro-life discussion.  These kids are the ones who are often aborted if their disabilities are known during pregnancy.   The people who serve them, school personel and caregivers alike, humbly sacrifice day in and day out.  They sacrifice money, esteem, physical comfort.  No, it's not all candy and roses.  They aren't perfect.  But, they are there.  Touching, lifting, hugging, holding, loving- everyday.   What a testament to life- to real, Gospel living. 

I started an Examen as I waited.  I usually to through each part of my day and pick one big thing I'm thankful for in each part.  But, today as I thought about my day up until that point, I found time slowing down.  I  realized that when I got up, I walked with my own two legs to the coffee maker.  I did so without pain.  When I started my shower, the water was hot.  Oh, and that bed I got out of was warm and there was a wonderful man laying next to me.  And he was breathing and healthy and he would be up in an hour so he could go to work.  Work that was steady and safe.  Just like my work.  The prayer book I opened was true and beautiful, touched by the wisdom thousands of years of apostolic tradition.  And I could read the words.  Someone had taken the time to teach me to read.  Then, I read the actual words Jesus Christ spoke two thousand years ago.  Right in my living room.  And I knew in my heart of hearts that if it was all taken away from me, I would still be precious in God's eyes and that I could trust His plan for my life.  I hardly got anywhere with the Examen as I was thinking about all the things I did this morning that I take for granted. 

Thoughts on adrenals and thyroid and food allergies and secondary infertility faded away.  They were crowding up my head and choking the still small voice that cries,

"Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, I love you."

Prayer Buddy!

I had the honor of praying for Sarah at Sarah bellum.  Her blog is private so I wasn't able to learn more about her while I was praying.  The mystery of only knowing her name and intentions helped me focus my prayer and I think made it purer.  She's invited me to her blog, but for some reason Blogger is not letting me in. Blogger is also not letting me comment on blogs tonight.  Kinda frustrating, but honestly, I've never had trouble before so hopefully tomorrow night will be better! 

God Bless you Sarah!  I loved praying for you and will continue to do so.  I can't wait to get to know you more through your blog!