Words

It's been quiet around here as I try to figure out a way to make this blog a part of my new rhythm.  I've been reading and not commenting and obviously, not posting very much.

I've certainly been praying for all of you.  I pray for your intentions each day that I say a prayer to St. Jude, during consecration and during intentions at Mass.

My home is now organized- ahhhh.  Today, I finally finished the last place that needed to be touched which was the shed.  The house is not beautified, but it's organized and relatively clean.  I did take some before pics and haven't taken any after pics yet. I would never get this post up if I had to do that, too!   I can't tell you how good it feels.  It was quite the mess and took me the better part of this year to complete.  Now, it's on to making it pretty and keeping it organized.

We are in the process of redoing AJs room to make it not a toddler room.  He's actually having a really hard time with the change so I'm not sure how far we are going to get.  It was going to be so cool with all white and black Ikea furniture, wall to wall bookcases, orange paint and a dark gray accent wall.  We have most of the furniture so that's a done deal.  The painter comes Wednesday and we might just paint it the same color it is now which I never liked.  But, it's not my room and if I've learned anything from the last 10 years, it's that I'm not in control and that things might not turn out how I'd like.  And guess what?  The world will not come crashing down.

I've been working through a book called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.  While I don't have phobias, I have mild to moderate anxiety.  And, I'm quite sure it could turn into a phobia or phobias if I don't nip it in the bud.  The hardest chapter has been the one on self talk.  I'm identifying what I say to myself in different situations.  And, then, rewriting and relearning new thoughts.  Wow.  It's hard, hard work.  It has 4 main types of negative self talk: the critic, the worrier, the victim, and the perfectionist.  What's interesting is that I have hardly any victim or worrier in my patterns.  It's mostly perfectionist and critic.

What I've learned is that when I give my thoughts words, I turn from a muddled up mess into a somewhat coherent person.  I turn from someone who solely reacts into someone who has a bit of a rudder.  This blog helps give voice to the stray thoughts that run through my rattled brain.  What's more, is that your voices help me find mine.  They give me courage.  They inspire me.  They have healed my physical body.

Thank you for sharing.  I've missed you.  I hope this is a new beginning.

Love,
MFAW