Monday, February 6, 2012

Infertile at 40

What does that even mean?  Does it mean I'm just experiencing the normal decline of fertility?  Or does it mean   that there is more going on like hormone imbalance, structural issues, endo, chronic infection etc.?

For the two years we've been actively trying to become pregnant, I've also been battling chronic fatigue.  When I first started charting Creighton, it was to become pregnant.  Then, after realizing how exhausted I was, the main priority of treatment with Napro was to fix the fatigue.  Through progesterone supplementation, T3 and dietary changes, the fatigue has lifted.  The questionnaire they have me fill out asks to give a percentage of how normal you feel.  I'm at 95%.

Now that I'm feeling better, I feel the priority shifting to becoming pregnant.  And as the months go by, my anxiety increases.  And honestly, because of my age, the hope decreases each cycle.  I'm not sure what the next step for us will be.  We went into this without wanting tons of intervention.  I don't believe God is calling me to go all out to have another baby.   By all out, I mean more meds, ultrasounds, lots more blood work, etc.  It would put too much strain on our family that has been strained by my fatigue for years.  I'm not saying that lightly- this is after much prayer and discernment.  Of course, I can't read the mind of God.  But, it's the current conclusion I've reached after contemplating the desires He's placed in the my heart and the duties He's placed in my life.  It could change next month.  Can you tell I've been reading Abandonment to Divine Providence?  Ha ha!!

I'll be emailing my chart to Peoria on the next CD1 which, by the state of my chin (2 zits- yes, zits at 40!) and sore boobs, will be in a little less than a week.  I'll probably visit the surgeon to see about a lap.  I would consider the lap because the doc said if I do have endo, it's important to remove it for general health reasons, not just to increase fertility.  But, other than that, I think I'm at the end of the Napro road.

I'm sad about the fact that I probably won't have another baby.  I'm losing hope that I'll ever be pregnant.  I'm increasingly anxious during the 2WW.  I didn't even chart this month after my period ended.  I had horrible CM  too.  We've been trying for 2 years.  But, I've been waiting for 10 years to have another baby.  Those eight years of waiting for my husband to be open to another child taught me how to handle this time.  It's not pretty.  It's not easy.  But, it is led by God with the knowledge that His peace is around the corner if I keep a grateful and humble heart.


  1. Oh, how I can relate to this post. I am glad you are feeling better. I am sorry you aren't pregnant. But it certainly let's one know who is in charge. I don't believe in the age thing at 40 anyway. I know too many people who have easily become pregnant at 40 plus years. Praying for your abandonnment.

  2. It's so hard thinking you are coming to the end, but the beauty is that even when we're done, God isn't. I pray he continues to grow your family and, no matter what, gives you peace.

  3. Praying for you....praying tht maybe just a small boost of some hormone support, or ovulation boost might be helpful without being distruptive or too taxing...

    I understand.

    Little JoAnn

  4. Praying for you! This is so hard. I am glad you are generally feeling better!

  5. I don't think 40 necessarily means the end of fertility. I would say follow your heart and continue to pray for guidance. God bless you!

  6. Also, I have a friend who had her NaPro baby at 43. So fertility may slow down a little at 40, but it is not "game over" yet!

  7. Hi Made for Another World! I am so glad you found me too. Again! I live in CT, but I flew to see Dr. Kwak-Kim...dare I say it was over 2 1/2 years ago and became one of her long distance patients.

    She is in Vernon Hills, IL outside of Chicago, a total breeze to get to. And, she is the best physician dealing with recurrent pregnancy loss and implantation in the U.S. right now.

    She believes that women can get pregnant until 45 no problem.

    First things first is to read Dr. Beer's book, IS YOUR BODY BABY FRIENDLY.

    Just two other books I reccomend: GETTING PREGNANT by LARS NIELSEN and INCONCEIVABLE by Julia Inchio(?) I can look up the exact spelling if you need it.

    In the meantime...

    Get yourself some

    B-12 shots (or a vitamin B complex)
    UP your Vitamin D and take this twice a day (with Calcium)
    Take the highest grade of fish oil you can afford take it twice a day
    Take Vitamin E
    Take B-6
    Take a very good prenatal vitamin
    Take Selenium
    Eliminate salt and switch to SEA SALT
    Drink low sodium tomatoe juice
    And sugar free grape purple grape juice every other day, small glass

    Eat Spinach every other day and brocoli every other day and 2 other Folic Acid rich foods every day

    Eat three servings of citrus a day (grapefruit, orange, etc)

    Drink filtered water
    REDUCE sugar intake
    LIMIT Caffeine (consticts blood flow)
    REDUCE simple carbs

    Eat dark chocolate 2 times a week

    TAKE a baby aspirin a day

    Exercise 3 days a week for 20 minutes

    EAT SALMON 3 times a week

    Test your FSH
    Test your LH
    on day 3

    Test your progesterone level 2 days after ovulation and 7 days after ovulation

    BEGIN taking progesterone after you ovulate 2-3 days after you ovulate and stay on it for 6 months even if you are not trying to conceive and even if you do not get pregnant

    Use TOP progesterone

    CRINONE day time
    and Progesterone Compounded suppositories before bed 200 mg

    Tell me what your thyroid panel is
    Have your antithyroid antibodies tested

    Run a thrombophilia panel

    Little JoAnn

  8. I'm praying for you as you decide what to do!
    My mom had two healthy babies (my youngest siblings) at 40 & 45. Don't worry about your age! You are just starting to feel better and get your body to be healthy. I pray that God has much more in store for your family in regards to more kids!
    It would be nice to know when to continue treatment and when to stop, I'll totally agree on that! :-)

  9. Praying that you make the right decisions for you and your family!

  10. I just turned 37 and I feel so sad about my declining fertility. I've spent my entire 30's trying to get pg and I feel Iike I'm staring down at 40.

    Napro has helped me attain the best health I've ever had in my life. I will be forever grateful to Dr Hilgers for all that he has done for me.

    Don't give up just yet. My grandmother had her last child at 45!

  11. Read through your journey on the left...did you ever find infection or more signs of it? I never feel like I have the right to comment on IF blogs, because I don't feel like I fit in. I am 43, have 5 children, and have delt with secondary infertility for the past 4 years. Not willing to accept a "it's just because of your age" diagnosis after a stillbirth and 3 other losses, brought me to all of the Catholic infertility blogs. I began working with a local NaPro clinic in my area which suggested Dr Toth as a resource for further help. I always have this feeling like I should appologize for having 5 children before I comment or that other women will not want to hear from me because of that. I comment very very rarely, so know that I am sincere when I do! I hope and pray you find answers soon. Many, many blessings to you today, Lisa