I am a freak for Jesus.
Why else would I subject myself to conversations that defend the church's teaching on contraception and ART while I can't conceive another child?
Conversations that are so difficult to have because the topics, words and vocabulary I use are so very foreign to the listener.
I look like a complete freak.
I get the feeling that the people I speak with (which are only a few) feel sorry for me because they perceive me as a sucker for belonging to an oppressive church.
Then, I think of the Litany of Humility.
And, the Sorrowful Mysteries- particularly the crowning of thorns. Jesus gave me a supreme example of how to love and suffer and be humiliated.
Then I think of all of you. And, I know I'm not alone.
Do you ever feel like this?
Thanks for having my back.
I used to feel like that but then I realized that by not subjecting myself to the cruelties of ART...I was actually doing the best thing. A baby is a gift from God...to be made only by HIM (and my dh and I of course)..not some dr creating life in a petry dish. People think they have all the control in the world...really? There is research showing that woman who have gone through IVF's have a higher chance of breast cancer, etc. It's all that overstimulating with hormones. Anyways...Once I realized that I felt so much better. I knew in my heart of hearts I was doing the right thing by God and He was smiling down on me. My journey has been all about acceptance. I'm so thankful I have been accepting. I actually think I'm happier for it too. :)
ReplyDeleteI am also a freak for Jesus. When you are 32 and single and living according to the Church's teachings, you are a freak. There is something wrong with you. Unflattering movies are made about your kind, but sort of in a mythical kind of way, because surely no one actually listens to the Church about that stuff at a certain point.
ReplyDeleteBut I love what you say about it. Humility, Christ on the cross, all these things remind us that by turning to the Church's (and therefore Christ's) teachings, we are not substituting the good of what we want for the best of putting God first and trusting Him to run our lives instead of trying to control them ourselves.
Yes, I definitely feel like a freak sometimes. I can tell the other person I am having the conversation with does feel sorry for me, like you said. My impression is that they think I have no mind to think for myself. But, in reality, perhaps THEY are slaves to the culture and their own desires. I guess the only thing I have to be careful about is not being overly zealous and sharing information at the wrong time or without being extremely charitable.
ReplyDeleteYes, I feel like this sometimes, especially when my DH and I give Church teaching talks. Some people don't get it and still insist we try ART but we let them know exactly why we would not do that. It reminds me of the song "Jesus Freak" by DC Talk, I love that song! I guess I am a freak too :)
ReplyDeleteHoney, I'm a professional freak :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the Club!
Right there with you!
ReplyDeleteYes!! I am a Jesus freak too! In love with Him and HIs church. I haven't had too many of those conversations, just one... so far. But I am open to the Holy Spirit leading me in a conversation like that: they generally are humbling, though.
ReplyDeleteYes! Among my siblings, I am a freak. It took IF to get me to "freak-out" ... but I'm glad for that! I needed more Jesus in my life for a long time.
ReplyDelete