The Best of 2011

2011 was good to me even if I didn't get pregnant.  Here is a list of what was great about this year.

St. Teresa de Avila

She was my patron for the year.  I loved meditating on the fact that she struggled spiritually until she was 40.  Since I turned 40 this year and the learning curve with this spirituality thing has been steep for me, I took great comfort in knowing her journey.  

Peace

This was my word for the year and even though I'm not completely where I want to be, peace has begun to seep into my heart and for that I am grateful.  Much of the reason is that, with God's help, I've been able to temper some bad habits.  

Weight Watchers

Can you guess what one of the bad habits is?  I'm only 3 pounds away from goal.  

Anit-inflammatory diet and T3

I could be wrong but, I think these two changes were key in helping me feel better.  I'm a bit apprehensive because I'm not sure where the diet will lead me or if I'll need more than T3.  But, at least now I have enough energy to research it more. 

My Napro Doc and her nurse

They spend an inordinate amount of time with me and answer every weird question.   

My Catholic Therapist

She is the person who figured out how tired I was.  She didn't just say, "Oh, your depressed or anxious."  Now, she's working with me on anger management and I'm learning so much.  

Friends

I try to avoid discussing relationships on this blog in case the person would find the post.  But, suffice it to say that I've had several key relationships in my life that became troubled.  Some of them have improved because I've put up healthy boundaries.  I've been praying for God to send some catholic friends and boy, did the Lord deliver.  We've made friends with a couple at church and I joined a book club that's mostly people from church.   These people aren't outwardly spiritual- I'm not going to be saying the rosary with them any time soon. But, they are good, positive people that are fun to be around.  They've been a breath of fresh air.  

Family

Guitar Man and I continue to grow in our relationship even with a few bumps along the way.  AJ is finally doing solidly well in school.  Nothing in school has been easy for him and he's finally working at grade level in 5th grade.  My mom has made it another year- alleluia.  

You

Thank you for this community.  I love reading your struggles, your joys and your stories.  Thank you for sharing- I love you.  

prayer buddy reveal

I had the distinct honor to pray for T at The What IF Cross.  She gave birth to the adorable Magdalene Agnes on December 10th! Praise God!  My prayer life took a hit with travel, family obligations and the general busy-ness of the season.  So, my work was offered up for her intentions.  I offered up tasks and worry many times a day and thought about her all the time.  T- you will continue to be close to my heart!

Controlled Chaos

Thank you all for your prayers for my mom.  After three days in the hospital, she was released.  She's on medication and she can still take her chemo drugs. That was my biggest fear.  One of her chemo drugs can affect the heart and I was so afraid they would discontinue the medication.  The medication she's on (Tykerb) was made specifically for the type of cancer she has and she has a very aggressive form of breast cancer.  Knowing she's on this medication is a great comfort.  It was very, very hard being so far away from both of them and having my 70 year old father have to deal with this all on his own.  My mom became very agitated at certain points (very unusual for her) and there was a scare that she had a hole in her heart (it was a shadow on the echocardiogram).

We tried to make the best of the trip even though the whole point was to all be together for the holidays.  My sis and I had lots of time to talk and hang out and make healthy food.  She's recently became a vegan so it was very complimentary to the anti-inflammatory diet.  On top of everything, my niece was sick the whole time we were there so we didn't go anywhere except to church twice.  I almost forgot about the Holy Day in the midst of worry!

Preparing for the trip took much of my weekends leading up to it so I'm not very well prepared for Christmas which we are hosting.  Then, there's always work and the busy-ness in a school leading up to break.  We've done lots of crafts, Polar Express Day, dipping Oreos in chocolate (VERY anti-inflammatory-HA), secret santa, a holiday breakfast, and two big projects AJ had due for school.  The house isn't all the way decorated or straightened or cleaned.  AJ threw up today all over the living room.  At least that floor is clean now!  And, the gifts aren't all shopped for or wrapped.  Thank goodness we have a small house and a small family.  It makes decorating and shopping a bit easier.  I kind of just took the day off yesterday and did basically nothing.  I'm not sure if it was laziness creeping in or if I was giving my body some rest in the midst of the season.  Probably a little of both.

This post is all over the place.  Basically, I'm writing it so I can find comfort in all that's been done already, find fortitude for what's left to do, and keep the real reason for the season in the forefront of our preparations.

While I work, I'm going to light a candle and put on Jeff Cavins Great Adventure Bible Study CDs.  I have the 8 week series and it's perfect to listen to at Christmas because it builds up to Christ's birth.

All my work and worry is offered up for my dear prayer buddy.

Dear Jesus, help me remember that when I prepare for our guests, I am preparing for you to enter our home.  When I cook the food, it is to feed you.  When I clean and decorate it's so you have a beautiful place to sit and enjoy the love of a family.  And that the greatest gift I can give my family is a still, peaceful, gentle heart so that I may reflect God's love.  

God Bless you, my friends!

Prayers and Leibster

Can you please, please pray for my mom, Judi?  It looks like she's going to be okay, but she's been in the hospital for 2 days due to an irregular heartbeat.  She's completely stable.  They are running many tests and there was a scare today because the echocardiogram showed a hole in her heart.  They did another more invasive test (esophagial echocardiogram) that showed it wasn't a hole, it was just a shadow.  My mom's health isn't great since she's on chemo for recurrent breast cancer.  I just wish she could be home.  What sucks, too, is that my parents were supposed to be in Seattle visiting my sister with AJ and I.  They admitted her the day before we were to leave and my parents insisted AJ and I still go.  So, here my sister and I are, in Seattle, worried and wishing we were in Chicago.  My poor dad has been dealing with this by himself for three days.  Mother Mary, pray for my dear, sweet mother and my loyal, loving father. 

I've been so busy preparing for the trip (sub plans, christmas shopping, craft making) that I haven't been able to acknowledge the Liebster award that Alive in Hope bestowed upon this bad, bad blogger.  Thank you Alive in Hope, you always cheer me up with your effervescent posts!  Part of the deal with the Leibster is that you have to award 5 other blogs with under 200 followers.









Upon receipt of the Liebster Blog Award, there are a few very simple rules: 

1)  Copy and paste the award to your blog.
2)  Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
3)  Reveal your top 5 blog picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
4)  Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

Here are some of my favs, in no particular order:


1. What if God Says No- I love Donna's quiet, steadfast faith.

2.  Sew Infertile- I can't see if she as more than 200 followers.  Sew's open book policy about her hormones have taught me so much about my own!  And, she's got great, great news!

3.  Abigail's Alcove- Abigail's strong faith and willingness to share it lifts me up with every post.

4.  Be Not Afraid- I can't wait to hear what adventures await this sweet family!

5.  Catholic Mutt- Love her pics and her thinking.

And, every single person on my side bar.  You are my heroes, my mentors, my role models.  I love you and pray for you every single day.

Anti inflammatory diet questions

I've been a very, very bad blogger as of late.  Reading and not commenting.  Not responding to comments on my own blog.  Not posting.  I'm still adjusting to my new sleep routine and it's cut precious time from my day.  I'm trying to come up with creative ways to carve out time.  Thank you all for commenting on my last two posts.  You gave great insights and support that has helped me in my journey.  I am indebted to you.  If anyone has Sarah's (at Sarah's Journal) or St. Rita's Roses' email, can you leave in the comment box?  I was too slow on the uptake to email them about getting invites to their blogs.

I started part of the anti inflammatory diet two weeks ago.  I say part because I was only going on what I could find on the internet.  I just purchased a book titled, The Anti-Inflammation Diet and Recipe Book by Jessica Black.  Half the book is recipes which I desperately need.  It's been hard, but with the other diet changes I've made, it seemed like just another step.

What I'm doing:

• No caffeine
• No sugar
• No processed foods
• No fast food
• No potato
• No tomato
• No rice, gluten or dairy (not really anti inflammatory- food allergy testing found out I am sensitive to it.  Still eating butter.)
• Tons of veggies and fruits
• Lots of seeds and nuts
• Probably a bit too much meat 
• Green tea with honey and a bit of soy creamer

What I still need to do:

• more fish (salmon and anchovies)
• more mushrooms
• no more pork
• no peanuts (peanut butter is my favorite food :(  ) 

I am feeling better.  Praise Jesus! I'm still not where I want to be, but the crushing fatigue has lifted.  I've even had some moments when I felt 'normal.'  I'm sure the better sleep and the T3 are contributing also.  When I first started the diet, I thought I'd have anything I wanted on Thanksgiving.  But, now that I'm feeling better, I'll be making some special food and sticking with it.  

Questions for you guys:

Do you have any book recommendations on the anti-inflammatory diet?

Do you have any recipes or tips you can share?  

God Bless you All!!

Broken

I've had a broken body ever since I can remember.  I had asthma and allergies as a very young child so there were lots of emergency room visits, doctor's offices and medicines.  This was in the era before inhalers and nebulizers so an asthma attack that couldn't be controlled was an automatic trip to the ER.  I'll bet if I was a kid now, my asthma would be very controlled and not that serious.  I can only imagine my parents fear every time the wheezing would start.

I never realized how often I was sick until we went to a doctor when I was a junior in high school.  I was extremely fatigued and had frequent headaches.  I had mono as a freshman and ever since then, I had trouble fighting off infections.   The doctor wanted a detailed medical history and my parents went through every hospitalization.  Even though that was twenty years ago, I clearly remember them both recounting the history.

Then, without consciously knowing, I broke my body even more.  I joined the swim team and trained hard from 3rd grade until freshman year in college.  I became a camp counselor in college and exhausted myself for 5 summers straight.  I ate sugar and processed foods to keep up the pace.  I even smoked for a few years. Yuck!  As an adult, I took a stressful job that ate me alive with work.  I kept working this crazy job after I had a child.  I finished my master's degree and ran the Chicago Marathon.

As I look back on it now, I see God's hand in all of this.  He let me have a broken body and he let me break it even more because through all of it, he healed my spirit.  It's still healing, but the amount of peace I feel right now is one I've never known.  He put people, blogs, practitioners and books in my path that have healed my spirit through my broken body.  It's hard to point to just one of these as pivotal in the healing.  But, they have each in their own way taught me how to 'be.'  And learning how to 'be' was something I always knew I needed to learn but, how do you go about learning how to do something so complex?  I am finally seeing the fruit of years of prayer and study.  He has helped me become less lazy, less gluttonous, less judgmental, and less anxious. There is a long road ahead and much more work to do.  But, His burden is light and I finally feel that lightness like I never have before.

I pray that now this spiritual healing will help me fix the damage I've done to the body He gave me.  And if He does heal my body, I pray that I will always remember His lessons in humility so that I may use my body wisely to do His will.

Prudent Hope- Napro appointment

Had an hour long phone appointment with my Napro doctor this past Wednesday.  I'm still trying to process everything.

Current Symptoms:

• with each cycle, I seem to have more pain associated with my period (at first I thought it was cervical and now it's farther up)
• the pain isn't there the month after I've been on antibiotics (I've been on 2 rounds) but, returns the following month
• very, very tender breasts before period
• just this past cycle for the first time, I had intermittent brown bleeding before period
• just this past cycle for the first time, I had watery, pink discharge
• fatigue (improved after changed sleep habits but, still severe)
• poor mucus scores- improved greatly after three months of 500 mg slow release B6 but, now poor again after being off of the B6

Current medications and supplements:

• 300 mg of progesterone peak +3 through peak +12
• 600 mg of mucinex 2 times per day CD5 through peak +4
• multivitamin with copper and iron
• 30 mg of zinc daily
• 200 mg of Magnesium Glycinate daily
• 6,000 IU of Vitamin D3 daily
• 500 mg of Panthenic Acid daily
• Probiotic once a day
• 1000 mg of Omega 3 daily
• Advair inhaler
• Flonase nosespray

Dr. S's recommendations:

• 7.5 mg (not sure if it's mg- haven't received the prescription yet) of T3
• Go back on B6
• Antibiotic treatment for DH and I on days 1-10
• Anti inflammatory diet
• Doesn't think the progesterone is causing the the brown bleeding or watery, pink discharge
• these two things are new in my cycle and so is the progesterone
• I've had brown bleeding but usually not intermittent (one day of it, next day nothing)
• Future thoughts:
• pre-peak blood work
• discuss laproscopy and hysteroscopy 
• see if there's endo and get a scraping to identify type of possible infection

Thoughts and feelings: 

I was absolutely over the moon about the T3.  They are sending it from Mecca- Kubat's pharmacy.  I am more excited about this than I should be.  I am trying to temper my hope a bit regarding this being the 'it' drug for me. The anti-inflammatory diet hasn't sunk in yet- I've been very confused about diet lately and this just adds to the confusion.  I've just recently made huge headway with weight loss and am not ready to rock the boat just yet.  Maybe I'll tackle it in a few weeks when I get the T3 underway.  The possible surgery totally floored me.  I've always had very regular periods with no pain so this came as a huge surprise.  I love my doctor because she as doesn't like "to take a shotgun approach."  She was just letting me know what's going on in her mind.  Peoria has a brand new NaPro surgeon and my doctor discussed my case with her.  Even though I'm probably a candidate and I'm sure she is a great surgeon, I'm also aware that surgeons like to do surgery.  It's definitely on the back burner but, the thought gave me that shaky feeling.  I'm offering up the fear and anxiety for Jelly Belly.  I am so incredibly thankful for all the medical posts I've read over the last two and a half years on these blogs.  It gives me a frame of reference for what's going on and most importantly, it reminds me that I'm not alone.  God Bless all of you.